Bikini Rebellion - Day 1
Today is the first day of Neghar Fonooni's #bikinirebellion and I chis 14 day challenge is all about self-love, body-love, and acceptance; all things that I, personally, believe we can all stand to work on.There are millions of ads, articles, and images designed to motivate us or tell us how to get a "bikini body". while many programs are designed to be effective, and can probably help many women tone up and lose inches, they are all based on the same flawed idea; the idea that our bodies are somehow not ready for a bikini in their current state.
As Neghar points out in her blog that sparked this challenge (read it here!), "There is no such thing as a bikini body". We all have bodies capable of wearing bikinis. Some of our bodies are leaner, some are thicker. Some of us have muscles, some of us do not. Some wear our weight in our thighs, our hips, our arms, our stomachs, etc. The point is, are bodies are all unique and should be celebrated as such. We shouldn't have to feel like we need to change our bodies into the shape of someone else - we should be able to love and celebrate the bodies we have. Our bodies are remarkable and we are capable of such amazing things. We already have bikini bodies! The only things required for a bikini body is to 1.) own a bikini and 2.) put a bikini on your body.
My Struggle With Body-Love:
For me, this challenge hits home. Body-love and acceptance is something I have struggled with since I was little and my struggle is a large part of why I am so passionate about this topic.
Growing up in a predominately white, small town I saw very little diversity amongst the girls I grew up with. You were either thin or fat, pale or tan. To make matters worse, I grew studying ballet. While I loved my classes (and still do!), the sport is full of a very specific body type - THIN. When I developed early, I didn't understand why none of the leotards would fit me - why my chest and my bum were so much bigger than everyone else's. While developing into a large chest and curvy hips is something many girls dream of, I was left feeling embarrassed and ashamed. I wanted to hide - and for a while in grade school I was never without a large over sized sweatshirt (even in the summer months). Eventually I dropped out of ballet. Why bother training when I knew I would never look like the other girls, and therefor would never amount to anything? My body type was my shame-demon, it was the thing that kept me from living my life to my fullest because in some way I thought I didn't deserve to. I felt that my body was something I deserved to be punished for, that I was somehow bad because I didn't look a certain way.
It wasn't until I moved away from home to San Fransisco that I realized my body shape wasn't that unusual. It wasn't something I had made happen - it was just the shape I was born with and one that many women love to have. As I met more and more variety in body shapes I began to realize that we are all built differently. There was no perfect figure that is attainable to everyone.I began to realize my large breasts were not as disgusting as I had originally though. And my curvy figure was actually something of value.
My perception of my body began to change - but I still had some mountains to face. First it was the fact that my body still didn't look like anything I had ever seen in SHAPE Magazine. I had started working out and my body was beginning to get more fit, more muscular, but I still saw a girl with thighs that were too big and arms that were too chubby when I looked in the mirror. This perception of my self was so in tact that even when I had lost 30lbs I still couldn't see the difference when I looked in the mirror.
It took me about a year to begin to see the differences in my body. Unfortunately by that time I had lost myself in a cycle of dieting and binging and had gained most of my weight back. I struggled for years, constantly trying to restrict my calories, losing some weight, but then relapsing again when I realized I still didn't look like the women I thought I needed to look like. I thought if I didn't look like a fitness model no one would take me seriously, that I wouldn't be worthy of the happiness and freedom of wearing whatever you wanted, that I wouldn't be worthy of the kind of love I knew I wanted.
As I write this, I know that I am worthy. No matter my size, no matter my weight, I am worthy of wearing whatever I want, of being loved the way that I want, and of being happy and living the life that I want. Weight, size, body shape - these things do not have the power to dictate your life. They cannot tell you when you are allowed to be happy or when you are allowed to wear shorts. You - regardless of your weight or size - are worthy of all of these things. We are all uniquely beautiful BECAUSE of the differences in our lives, our stories, and our bodies. Our uniqueness is something to be treasured and valued. It is a quality worth celebrating and I hope we are all able to realize that before too long.
Authenticity is something I am always striving for. I am constantly checking in with myself, wondering if what I am doing is something that actually matters to me or if I am doing it because someone else has convinced me that it "should" matter. During several periods of my life, this practice of asking myself my true motives has proven invaluable but for whatever reason, I am just now realizing I have never excelled at applying this practice to my health or fitness.
In the past I have always worked out to burn calories. I ate well (or simply less) because I wanted to lose weight which was ultimately due to the perception of the body that I thought I needed to have. Now I'm realizing that those reasons aren't reasons of my own at all. They are motives given to me by society or by the media. Only recently have I begun to eat a more balanced, healthful diet because I know that my body prefers when I eat that way. I can feel my body functioning better when I have a predominately clean diet, and I know my body is happier, looser, and more responsive when I work out. Those motives are my own, they are authentic and because they are authentic and true to myself they are easier to maintain. I have less cravings to binge on junk food, less desire to quit working out, and more motivation to continue striving for the better. My authentic goals have made them maintainable, which is something I have been searching for for so long.
Take a Moment:
Join me in this journey. Take a moment to think about your perceptions and goals. Are they authentic? Are they realistic? Have they been given to you by someone or something outside yourself? If you said yes to the latter, don't worry. Many of us have perceptions and desires that began with something someone told us. Take for example the body shape we have seen featured in movies, in magazines, even in art. That body was someone else's ideal, not ours, and that ideal somehow took root in our unconscious and grew until we began to compare ourselves to it.
Once we recognize that those perceptions or ideas or goals are not our own, we can empower ourselves to change it. We can create change in our lives. Sometimes the change is easy, but more often than not it will be hard. Changing my perception of my body is something I have been working on for years and it is still a work in progress. I don't know if I'll ever reach that space of complete self-love and acceptance, but I know it is something I will always continue to strive for.
Meditate for Self-Discovery:
During this 14 day challenge, I'll be setting aside 5 minutes a day for self meditation. 5 minutes a day for me to mentally sort through my perceptions about my body, my life, and my self and check in to see if they are authentic or not.
Never meditated before? Don't worry! Meditation can be done in many ways. For me, it is setting aside time to allow my thoughts to wander or to focus on a specific thought pattern. You can do it on a walk, laying in your bed, sitting comfortable on the couch, sitting cross legged outside, or even while practicing a yoga flow. Just set your timer for 5 minutes (or more) and let your thoughts go.
So lets set some time aside for self-discovery. As I progress into this challenge, I'll be sharing my progress with you here on the blog and on my Instagram page @mywholehappylife. I encourage you to follow along and even join the challenge yourself! I would love to be able to follow your progress as well!
Above all, just remember that you are worthy. Wherever you stand in this moment, at this weight, at this job, at this size, at this point in your relationship - YOU ARE WORTHY. Need some extra encouragement or want to tell me about your journey? Shoot me an email! I would love, love, LOVE to hear about where your life has taken you and what you're proud of. Just send a message to mywholehappylife {at} gmail.com and I promise you'll get a response. :)
As Neghar points out in her blog that sparked this challenge (read it here!), "There is no such thing as a bikini body". We all have bodies capable of wearing bikinis. Some of our bodies are leaner, some are thicker. Some of us have muscles, some of us do not. Some wear our weight in our thighs, our hips, our arms, our stomachs, etc. The point is, are bodies are all unique and should be celebrated as such. We shouldn't have to feel like we need to change our bodies into the shape of someone else - we should be able to love and celebrate the bodies we have. Our bodies are remarkable and we are capable of such amazing things. We already have bikini bodies! The only things required for a bikini body is to 1.) own a bikini and 2.) put a bikini on your body.
 |
| Fine the challenge here! |
For me, this challenge hits home. Body-love and acceptance is something I have struggled with since I was little and my struggle is a large part of why I am so passionate about this topic.
Growing up in a predominately white, small town I saw very little diversity amongst the girls I grew up with. You were either thin or fat, pale or tan. To make matters worse, I grew studying ballet. While I loved my classes (and still do!), the sport is full of a very specific body type - THIN. When I developed early, I didn't understand why none of the leotards would fit me - why my chest and my bum were so much bigger than everyone else's. While developing into a large chest and curvy hips is something many girls dream of, I was left feeling embarrassed and ashamed. I wanted to hide - and for a while in grade school I was never without a large over sized sweatshirt (even in the summer months). Eventually I dropped out of ballet. Why bother training when I knew I would never look like the other girls, and therefor would never amount to anything? My body type was my shame-demon, it was the thing that kept me from living my life to my fullest because in some way I thought I didn't deserve to. I felt that my body was something I deserved to be punished for, that I was somehow bad because I didn't look a certain way.
It wasn't until I moved away from home to San Fransisco that I realized my body shape wasn't that unusual. It wasn't something I had made happen - it was just the shape I was born with and one that many women love to have. As I met more and more variety in body shapes I began to realize that we are all built differently. There was no perfect figure that is attainable to everyone.I began to realize my large breasts were not as disgusting as I had originally though. And my curvy figure was actually something of value.
My perception of my body began to change - but I still had some mountains to face. First it was the fact that my body still didn't look like anything I had ever seen in SHAPE Magazine. I had started working out and my body was beginning to get more fit, more muscular, but I still saw a girl with thighs that were too big and arms that were too chubby when I looked in the mirror. This perception of my self was so in tact that even when I had lost 30lbs I still couldn't see the difference when I looked in the mirror.
It took me about a year to begin to see the differences in my body. Unfortunately by that time I had lost myself in a cycle of dieting and binging and had gained most of my weight back. I struggled for years, constantly trying to restrict my calories, losing some weight, but then relapsing again when I realized I still didn't look like the women I thought I needed to look like. I thought if I didn't look like a fitness model no one would take me seriously, that I wouldn't be worthy of the happiness and freedom of wearing whatever you wanted, that I wouldn't be worthy of the kind of love I knew I wanted.
As I write this, I know that I am worthy. No matter my size, no matter my weight, I am worthy of wearing whatever I want, of being loved the way that I want, and of being happy and living the life that I want. Weight, size, body shape - these things do not have the power to dictate your life. They cannot tell you when you are allowed to be happy or when you are allowed to wear shorts. You - regardless of your weight or size - are worthy of all of these things. We are all uniquely beautiful BECAUSE of the differences in our lives, our stories, and our bodies. Our uniqueness is something to be treasured and valued. It is a quality worth celebrating and I hope we are all able to realize that before too long.
Authenticity is something I am always striving for. I am constantly checking in with myself, wondering if what I am doing is something that actually matters to me or if I am doing it because someone else has convinced me that it "should" matter. During several periods of my life, this practice of asking myself my true motives has proven invaluable but for whatever reason, I am just now realizing I have never excelled at applying this practice to my health or fitness.
In the past I have always worked out to burn calories. I ate well (or simply less) because I wanted to lose weight which was ultimately due to the perception of the body that I thought I needed to have. Now I'm realizing that those reasons aren't reasons of my own at all. They are motives given to me by society or by the media. Only recently have I begun to eat a more balanced, healthful diet because I know that my body prefers when I eat that way. I can feel my body functioning better when I have a predominately clean diet, and I know my body is happier, looser, and more responsive when I work out. Those motives are my own, they are authentic and because they are authentic and true to myself they are easier to maintain. I have less cravings to binge on junk food, less desire to quit working out, and more motivation to continue striving for the better. My authentic goals have made them maintainable, which is something I have been searching for for so long.
Take a Moment:
Join me in this journey. Take a moment to think about your perceptions and goals. Are they authentic? Are they realistic? Have they been given to you by someone or something outside yourself? If you said yes to the latter, don't worry. Many of us have perceptions and desires that began with something someone told us. Take for example the body shape we have seen featured in movies, in magazines, even in art. That body was someone else's ideal, not ours, and that ideal somehow took root in our unconscious and grew until we began to compare ourselves to it.
Once we recognize that those perceptions or ideas or goals are not our own, we can empower ourselves to change it. We can create change in our lives. Sometimes the change is easy, but more often than not it will be hard. Changing my perception of my body is something I have been working on for years and it is still a work in progress. I don't know if I'll ever reach that space of complete self-love and acceptance, but I know it is something I will always continue to strive for.
Meditate for Self-Discovery:
During this 14 day challenge, I'll be setting aside 5 minutes a day for self meditation. 5 minutes a day for me to mentally sort through my perceptions about my body, my life, and my self and check in to see if they are authentic or not.
Never meditated before? Don't worry! Meditation can be done in many ways. For me, it is setting aside time to allow my thoughts to wander or to focus on a specific thought pattern. You can do it on a walk, laying in your bed, sitting comfortable on the couch, sitting cross legged outside, or even while practicing a yoga flow. Just set your timer for 5 minutes (or more) and let your thoughts go.
So lets set some time aside for self-discovery. As I progress into this challenge, I'll be sharing my progress with you here on the blog and on my Instagram page @mywholehappylife. I encourage you to follow along and even join the challenge yourself! I would love to be able to follow your progress as well!
Above all, just remember that you are worthy. Wherever you stand in this moment, at this weight, at this job, at this size, at this point in your relationship - YOU ARE WORTHY. Need some extra encouragement or want to tell me about your journey? Shoot me an email! I would love, love, LOVE to hear about where your life has taken you and what you're proud of. Just send a message to mywholehappylife {at} gmail.com and I promise you'll get a response. :)
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