Why We Resist Change & How to Start Breaking That Cycle

I was reading an article on LinkedIn the other day entitled “Why We Resist Change”. The writer was arguing that the reason we resist change is, and I quote, “Because we’re Deluded!”

Woah now, that’s a pretty bold (and kind of mean) argument to make. The writer goes on to argue that not only do we delude ourselves about our achievements, status, and/or contributions but we also have a tendency to shut out any suggestion to the opposite. A friend or loved one points out our shortcoming and we question, deny and discredit with the messenger.

While I agree that this is one of the many possible responses someone can have to being asked to change, I would also like to also point out the fact that many people are in fact open (and sometimes even looking for) change – they just need some help figuring out how to accomplish that change.

I would argue that the real reason we are resistant to change is because we’re pretty comfortable with where we are and, to be honest, a little afraid of what that change will lead to. Will I be able to handle that new job? If I quit smoking, will it make me gain weight? Will giving up alcohol make it so my friends don’t want to hang out with me? Will people laugh when I tell them I’m trying to eat healthier?

Yes, change can be scary but it can also lead to amazing things. So, how do you get started making that change? Here’s what I suggest.

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1.    Plan it out.
Set a goal and list the steps to get there. Accomplishing a goal by pure luck is hard to do - it will go much more smoothly if you have a plan in place. I'm not talking about anything too complex (although I have been known to break out my goals into a LOT of different steps), your plan can be as simple as what you'll add or remove from your normal habits to get to where you want to be.  Working on a weight loss goal? I'd include how many days you plan to work out, they type of exercise (if you already know), and whether or not your daily eating habits will change at all.
 
2.    Get a journal/tracker to track your progress
If you're working towards a really big goal (like finding your dream job or losing 30 pounds), it can be really tough to see all of the little accomplishments you achieve along the way. We get so focused on the end goal, we forget to celebrate everything we achieve while getting there. That's why I think its important to have some sort of record of your progress. Get a journal, start a blog, keep a diary - whatever it is, don't forget to be proud of what you do!

3.    Create milestones & a way to celebrate each achievement along the way
 Just like I was saying in Step 2 - it is super important to celebrate everything along the way. Without these mini celebrations, it can get really discouraging, frustrating, and even depressing along the way. Set milestones and know what you will do to celebrate them before you get there. If you're working on a weight loss goal, set a reward for yourself for every 5 lbs you lose. Working on getting a new job? Celebrate each time you submit 10 job applications. Whatever milestones or celebrations you plan, don't skip them!

4.    Get a support system

 You're going to need encouragement and help along the way. I never could have reached my goal of getting back into a fitness routine without the support of the girls at my gym. Trust me, sometimes the only reason I am able to drag my butt out of bed and head to the gym is because I know they're waiting for me - and they'll want to know where I was if I miss. So find a group of people (or even just one person) who will support you the whole time through and ignore or avoid anyone who's being a constant Debbie Downer. You don't need that doubt.

5.    Surround yourself with others who are going through the same thing
Again, support is key. if you can seek out and surround yourself with others who are working for the same goal (or even the same type of goal) it will be much easier to get through the pit falls of self-doubt, frustration,  or even boredom. Hearing what others are going through, and celebrating their successes along the way, can re-light that fire you frist felt when you set your goal. And, because you are all going through the process together, you will have someone to bounce ideas off of and keep each other encouraged.

6.    Talk about it
My final tip is quite simply to talk about your goal. If you never tell a soul about the marathon you want to run, or the career you'd like to get into, you'll miss out on the support, encouragement, (and even the tough love you would have gotten if you had talked about it. Trust me, no one will look down on you because you are setting a goal and who knows who you might be inspiring along the way. You're work towards reaching your goal may just be the encouragement someone else needed to change their life as well. 

So whatever your goal is - go get after it! If you get stuck on the plan part - or even just need an extra boost to get going or someone to help support you, shoot me an email! I'd love to hear what you want to achieve and help in any way I can.